Cholula

Getting all of the pedestrian sauces out of the way I suppose.

Aside from Tabasco, Cholula is probably the most common hot sauce at restaurants or diners. Or maybe Frank's Red Hot. Both are rather boring.

Asexual hot sauce.  But not the cool Morrissey kind of asexual. 

HEAT - I thought this was a hot sauce? It's kind of fitting that the person on the cover is androgynous. Is it some butch Mexican mama, or some cut-rate gay Zorro dude? Not sure. 1/7.

FLAVOR - Well, it has flavor. But no heat. It is a nice flavor... But you know, who cares? 3/7.

EXPERIENCE - I just kept pouring it on my taco hoping it would get spicy, like maybe I had to get to the spice that had gathered on the bottom of the bottle. I did shake vigorously. It was the most fun I had whole eating this sauce. 1/7.

This sauce has a BFB rating of 6/21. Bummer for me. Good for Cholula because apparently this shit passes for hot sauce and they're making a killing selling this stuff. It reminded me of old Taco Bell enchilada sauce. But the Tack Bell enchilada sauce from the 90s. When it tasted like gravy. Gross.